Interview #2: Misha
Good morning. It's nice to finally speak with you.
Misha: Good morning. It's nice to finally speak... I think.
Hm. It would be, I think. I've written you before, but I suppose without any conversation. Let's fix that.
Misha: Okay.
So, who are you?
Misha: My name's Misha, but I do remember you giving me another name back in the day. Miji? I think you had thought of me as a ninja, but I'm more of a gofer. That's "gofer", not gopher... I'm an otter. Although people often think I'm a red panda, due to my fur.
I hope that's not inconvenient. It's not groundbreaking, but I thought it would be interesting to take an iconic fur pattern and match it to a different body morphology.
Misha: Others do find it interesting. It's my body, so I guess it's become mundane to me. But I do like it.
Glad to hear it. Let me know if that changes.
Misha: Okay! So, what I mean by "gofer" is that I kind of do whatever needs doing. For my friends, that is, not just anyone. So if someone needs like, help with fixing something, or doing something, that sort of thing, I try to pitch in.
I feel like you might be more of a "fixer", or perhaps just a "helpful person", then.
Misha: Maybe, but usually I'm just running to grab something or keep an eye out for something. So I feel like "gofer" fits well enough.
Well, as long as you like the term, I guess it's not my place to change that. Even if I could.
Misha: (I'm not really in a position to tell you otherwise...)
Fair. I try not to abuse this power, but what I say goes. For better or worse.
That's not pushing the conversation forward, though. My bad. What are you like?
Misha: I don't know that I really think much about that. Do people usually do that?
Some do. It can be helpful to have a clear picture of what makes you you. I think I've shied away from that, myself. On the basis that it feels kind of narcissistic, I suppose.
Misha: Yeah... but on that note, I can see how it can be helpful, and I don't think it's self-absorbed. You want to know what your friends are like, right? And they want to know you, too. And you'd want them to understand themselves... so I guess we should want to understand ourselves, too.
That's sound logic.
Misha: Although...
...
Misha: It's scary, right? That's the problem, isn't it?
I think I get what you're getting at, but you should say it.
Misha: What if you don't like who you are? Or what if what you find out doesn't line up with who you think you are? If you think you're a good person because you're kind, or generous, or righteous... what happens if you take a harder look and what you see doesn't support that?
I guess different people would react differently. But most wouldn't like it. One might deny what they find, another might despair about it, another might get angry and take it out on themself. It's difficult to have that kind of fundamental assumption challenged.
Misha: It's difficult, yeah... but you only said most people wouldn't like it. Some people might take it as a challenge of personal growth. Or some people might find it funny to have been mistaken about that kind of thing. Plus...
Plus?
Misha: It's probably necessary, right? And we do it all the time with things that are less serious. That's just learning -- figuring out what's incorrect and correcting it.
I'd say it's part of learning. But I'm trying to split hairs less, and you're right anyway. If you don't self-evaluate, you can't self-regulate. Or self-improve.
Misha: I think others can still help you out, though.
Sure. But even if you surround yourself with helpful people, they have their own lives and obligations. They can't always drop what they're doing and come help, even if they'd like to.
Misha: That's true. I've definitely run myself ragged trying to do that.
And I'd imagine you've tried helping someone who didn't want your help, no?
Misha: That's super frustrating! I never get why people are like that.
Sometimes people enjoy working on things alone. Or they don't want your help in particular.
Misha: I guess...
Misha: ...also, like what you said earlier, some people might deny it, that they're in need of help at all. When it's like that, they're less likely to accept help.
True. You can't really fix a problem if someone thinks it's not a problem. It's just "meddling", in that case.
Misha: Yeah.
We're meddlers, though.
Misha: I've been called that before. I didn't like it, but I think I get it now.
Let's revisit the question, then. What are you like?
Misha: Gimme a moment to think about that.
Sure.
Misha: I try to be helpful. And I try to work hard, too. I don't like to do a bad job of something. Um... people say I'm nice? My co-workers used to say I was good at my job.
Co-workers?
Misha: I did have a job, you know! Food prep.
With those paws?
Misha: That sort of thing isn't really a problem here... don't think too hard about it.
Mind if I pick at what you said?
Misha: Well, I guess this is an interview, although it feels more like counseling...
You listed a few things you "try to be". Or things others say you are. Or a thing you dislike doing. But not specifically "I am like this".
Misha: ...
...
Misha: I think maybe I don't feel confident saying what I'm like. I don't think I've given it enough thought, and I don't feel I have enough time to do so in the moment.
I understand. "I don't know" is always a fine answer. You wouldn't know it, given how scared people seem to be of saying it, but it's true. How about I give you some time to think about it, then?
Misha: I'll give it my best shot.
We'll chat later, then?
Misha: Sure!